nightly half-thoughts

Veröffentlicht: September 8, 2008 in Gedanken
Schlagwörter:, , , , , , , , ,

being awake at 3 – 4 – 5 at night, _living_ at that time – ’normally‘ – makes you sense the life in a kinda strange way. it’s totally still and somehow…lifeless, half-dead. you get more of a feeling that everything is relative, everything exists only to some extent… like, colours exists only when they are visible, sensations exist only when they are ’sensible‘, people exist only when they are around…

you definitely feel your aloneness more distinctly, sometimes – often – also loneliness, being a cause of the imaginative and the habitual. you are prone to think depressively, well, you are prone to think. to think more. but the thoughts get a bit cut-off and often stay incomplete and…strange. because – not thought over. just kinda thought off.

depending where you are, you might enjoy some drops of ‚[normal] social life‘ at night too. you might possibly find a 24h supermarket or get a night bus. hear a car passing by or a few freaks shouting out in the street. get a night job. you may even sometimes be lucky and get a text from someone at that time. but… the list is not gonna get that long, and big cities‘ privileges are not for the provincial towns and nightlife habits are different in different countries. so you may just lose all the connection to ‚external‘ world, starting like at 1 a.m. left on your own, through the darkness barrier. looking intensely and seeing nothing. getting a bit mad with every night that follows.

…fleeing from the world as soon as it starts to show up…

  1. Anonymous sagt:


    One of the reasons for me to get up early, in fact earlier than needed, is this feeling: being alone, at least for some moments. I understand what you’re saying when pointing to the missing opportunities in rural regions – I’ve been used to is in a provincial setting (Hof, Bav.), living next to the local highway, looking on this building through my panorama windows:

    • tenti sagt:

      Re: nacht

      being alone is nice… being cut-off and kinda asocial – not that much. at least not always. strangely, rural life is not so much about missed opportunities, it is somehow… more logical. you can’t virtualise your life other than in your thought – because there’s no internet. you don’t need 24h supermarkets – because you grow your own food. the night is for lovers, and it serves them well :)
      although i guess i’m talking about a different ‚rurality‘, with (thankfully) no highways around, no industry spoiling the moonlit nature views..

      • Anonymous sagt:

        Re: nacht

        Being cutted of needs someone with a knife, whilst being alone is selfchoosen, most of the time. For example, I like days without having the need to speak, sometimes. Being quite, left alone with your thoughts. And, talking about the rurality as is – I know there are more rural areas like the german – czech border region. And I would like to see them.

  2. Anonymous sagt:


    Nettes neues Design, gefällt mir.

    • tenti sagt:

      Re: btw

      danke. mir besser, aber nicht ganz so wie ich wollte, irgendwie sind die farben zu…braun.. :) wollte mehr funktionen :) und änderung. bald vielleicht noch was neues, anderswo. irgendwie lust. mal sehen.

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